Fractal Noise by Christopher Paolini

Author:Christopher Paolini
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Tor Publishing Group

12.

The four of them said little for the rest of the evening. Alex continued working, and Talia and Pushkin ignored each other with an almost physical intensity. Chen, for his part, remained hunched over his chip-lab, eyes fixed on the viewfinder, his face lit from the side by the dull orange glow of the electric heater.

Right then, Alex hated both Pushkin and Talia for making the expedition harder than it had to be. And it wasn’t easy to begin with.

If only Layla had been there. She would have brightened the whole trip. It still would have been difficult, but the two of them would have comforted each other, and that would have made all the hurts and pains far more bearable.… That companionship was what Alex so often missed. Knowing that someone else was with you, someone who cared for you, and whom you cared for in turn, was worth more than any amount of bits.

A hand seemed to clutch at Alex’s heart. Of all of them, Layla would have enjoyed the visit to Talos VII the most. And unlike Chen, she’d always excelled at hiking and camping and … and …

And all it did was get her killed.

Alex pulled out the alcove’s privacy screen and leaned back against the curved wall, grateful the others could no longer see him.

He took a shuddery breath. It was hard to get enough air.

Everyone said you never got over your first love. Maybe that was true. He’d been lucky enough to marry his, and for a time, he thought he’d cheated fate. Only, fate had been saving up, tallying the cost of all the good times while he/she/it/whatever waited for the right moment to collect. And boy had it ever. Old fate had ambushed him and beat him until Alex thought he’d never recover. Beat him until nothing remained but grief and the sick pangs of regret.

A pair of tears spilled from his eyes, hot splashes of remembrance.

He thought of the file sitting on his system, thought of hearing her voice again, seeing what she saw. But he shied from the prospect, though he ached for her presence, even if only as a digital ghost. He knew the experience would be so real, so immediate, it would destroy him.

If he’d had the holocube with him, he might have looked at it, but he feared the effect would have been much the same.

He wiped his cheeks on his arms and kept working. It was the only thing he could do. Sometimes he thought that was the scariest fact of all.

Tired though they were, the four of them went to sleep far, far too late. If Sharah had a link to the shelter, Alex knew she would have berated them for being irresponsible. Still, they couldn’t help it; they were too wound up to rest. Instead, they sat in silence, each of them pursuing their own activity, and each of them watching and listening for any sign of the turtles until deep into the night.

When he finally slept, Alex dreamed.

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